Down and Out

So on Tuesday night I lost My Person.  You know what I mean, the one person in your life who has always loved you for you, the one person who knows all and I do mean ALL of your dirty little secrets.  The person you run to first above all others when situations arise.  The person who is always the same, quick to make you laugh, quick to kick you when you're down (I mean that in the best sense of the phrase), quick to be anything you need at any given moment (as long as he's not working).

I lost him, not misplaced like I have done with him before, lost him.

Gone!  Poof!

My fault? Yes it was. 

In my defense though, it was not premeditated nor were there were any ill intentions.  I didn't think it was that big of a deal.  That's just it, I didn't think.  I was wrong and I am deeply sorry.

Cried about it?  Yes I did (still am actually and probably will for days). *sniff*

There's just too much between us to not be together but sometimes it seems that there is too much between us to be together if that makes any sense. *sniff*

Him and  I have done horrible shit to each other (which he started by the way, you know you did,  just sayin) but we have always forgiven and moved forward.  I honestly don't think that is going to happen this time. *Sniff, sniff sniff, catch breath, sniff*

I don't know how to make it right.  I guess all I can do is hope that one day he will recognize how much I really do love him and want him in my life.  Until then, a piece of me will be missing, a big piece. 

I am sorry Ace.