A Blind Date in Baseball Terms

I had a date last Saturday night.  I was home by 10:30 so you can guess how it went.

Let me rewind.  I don't like blind dates.  I don't like it at all when a friend says, "I know a guy you would really like."  This scares me.  ALOT!!!!!

Let me rewind again...I am happy being single.  I have been divorced for two and a half years so being single has been a huge growing period for me.  Well that and I do what I want when I want and with who I want.  No one to answer to.  Love it.  Lately however, I have missed the closeness that comes with a relationship which is why when a friend suggested I give this guy a try, I thought, what have I got to lose.  Famous last words right? 

With all that said, lets talk about this date...

We will call him Joe.  Nice guy.  A little too preppy for me and all to ready to be my "night in shining Chevy Truck" (which I think is his best quality, the Chevy, nice taste in vehicles).  He has a great job, makes good money, owns his own house, no kids.  Sounds like a great catch right??  Not so much.  While these things may spark a fire in some girls, I was less than impressed.  This guy had absolutely no thoughts of his own.  He is your stereotypical "say anything to make you love me" kind of person.  WTF??  Dude!  Can you be any more fake?

I should have walked right out of the restaurant when the topic of music came up.  He asked me what my favorite song was.  Of course I answered "Unbroken Chain" (blank stare from dude).  I followed that up with "I'm kind of a Dead Head"  (blank stare with stars of confusion rolling into his eyes).  He had the nerve to ask me "What is a Dead Head?"  Oh My GAWWWWD!  Do you not live on this planet?

Freak out over the clueless man aside, I asked him what kind of music he liked.  His answer...

Kelly Clarkson.  WOW!!  Ok.  Yes, she has talent and is sooooooo "girl next door".  But really dude?  Are you sure you aren't gay?  Maybe just sitting in the closet with the light off?  Was that answer for my benefit?  Was I giving off the "Tween Poppy Vibe" again?  So many questions so little time.  Strike 1!

For those of you who do not know me, Music is an everyday all day part of my life.  I cannot sing (tone deaf) or play a note on anything but cannot live without my ipod or Pandora.  And no, you will not find Kelly Clarkson anywhere in all 10,000 of my songs.  You might find a (one) Hillary Duff song though and I am a little embarrassed to admit that so publicly but it really is a great song, (cringe) ok...it's a good song.  Never mind.  Moving on...

Even though I was temporarily appalled by the music thing, the evening wore on.  We talked about his job his goals in life (to his defense were pretty well thought out and what girl doesn't like a man with goals).  He talked about his family, he asked about mine blah blah blah.  The usual first date stuff.  Which, I might add is usually really interesting and a great moment in the steps of dating...WHEN YOU HAVE THINGS IN COMMON!! 

We talked about sports, oh and get this, the only sports he follows are Nascar and Football (by football I mean soccer)  Really?  I told him all that interests me about Nascar are the bad ass crashes and big fiery booms.  I think I may have offended him because when I told him I loved Baseball he wasted no time letting me know that he isn't into watching grass grow.  Very original dude I haven't heard that before.  Strike 2.

I talked about my love for all things mixed martial arts (UFC) in which he admitted he was clueless so that ended that.

I talked about my love of art and literature and his only response was, and I quote "Those things make me think too much and the last book  I read was Maxim."

Oh My GAWWWWWWD!!!!!  Ok brainiac, Maxim is a f*cking magazine and I'm sure you only looked at the pictures! 

I brought up the topic of cars (due to boredom and hope that my interest in him might peak beyond his vehicle because as I mentioned before he drove a Chevy truck).   I told him about my childhood being daddy's little mechanic.  I went off about all the different kinds of cars my dad and brother had restored and how I just loved to play mechanic and work on my own vehicles.  I told him about the Camaro and the Chevelle and that my favorite car in the world is a 1957 Corvette and that I have huge plans to restore one when I find one with a decent strait body and blah blah blah. 

His answer to all this, ok well not really an answer more of a statement, albeit a true one, was "but you're a girl!" 

No shit Sherlock, I am completely aware that I have a vagina, thank you!  Strike 3!

Ok, that was it, I had had enough.  Not before I ordered desert though.  I felt I needed some sort of consolation prize for wasting an evening on this nice but complete idiot and let's face it dinner wasn't going to cut it.  The ride home was uneventful and for that I was thankful.  To his defense again he was a gentleman and walked me to my door.  I thanked him for dinner and an interesting evening but almost tripped up the stairs because I couldn't get away quick enough.

I think that's the first time I have ever "pitched a no hitter" so to speak which in baseball terms is a pretty damn good thing but in terms of dating, it just kinda makes you not want to play the game. Oh and my friend, the one who set me up with him, the one who has known me for almost twelve years got quite the ear full the next morning but that's a post for another day.